The miracle of rest
I wanted to follow up from my last blog post. One of the things I have had to learn is with my long term traumatic brain injury is I have to accept my body and mind with what it’s capable of.
Things like not getting a full nights sleep or working longer hours than I should do have a huge impact on what I am capable of doing. It’s funny as this is a universal problem - no one likes not having enough sleep. But for us TBI survivors it really shuts things down.
Two nights without my sleep medicine really turned me into a zombie. Intellectually I know the tasks I’d like to do and that there was time to complete them, but I become comatose and that can lead to a mental frustration that compounded my lack of sleep.
I write this today after having gotten my meds and getting a solid 9 hours of sleep. I got the one thing that I had to do yesterday done, a photo shoot of the new work I showed at High Point and the proofs are fabulous. Today, I woke up feeling rested and back to my normal self.
I know I am not the weakest link in my company, but really the linchpin that needs to focus on all that I am able to accomplish while putting self care and respect for my capacity at the top of the list.
If I am fully honest I wondered yesterday if I should delete the last blog as my frustrations come through. I worried that my transparency would seem at odds with what NeuroMaps is all about — providing resources for other TBI survivors to start their own businesses on their own schedules. But in fact this is what it is about. I had a let’s call it a “TBI flare up” due to lack of sleep. I had two really off days where I felt crappy and inefficient and unable to do more than the appointments that were scheduled. But. I did those appointments and took the steps I needed to remedy my situation. My business didn’t fall apart and I didn’t fall apart.
This makes me think of the other point of NeuroMaps, a community and access to the information and services that can help us. It takes a village isn’t just a good metaphor for raising children but also one for life. I have an amazing therapist who helps me understand, process, and provides tools to help me get through the situations and feelings that arise. I have had amazing psychiatrists and doctors who prescribe the anxiety, sleep, and cholesterol (thanks mom!) medicines that keep my brain chemistry balanced.
I have learned, and continue to relearn to not let the need for perfection be a hindrance for good enough. In other words, it is ok for me to slow down when I need to. Today I do have a list of tasks, but I will also give myself the grace to perform these at the pace I am able to. If I don’t get some done, that is ok.
And remember- June 1st we’re having our community event sponsored by Prince George’s County Arts & Humanities Council at 4100 Rhode Island Ave. Brentwood, Md 20722 from 1-5pm! Lots to do to prepare, but we are so excited to share the about TBI and how we survivors process the world and a print your own NeuroMap tshirt open studio from 3-5 at my studio!!